ORANGE COUNTY GRANT WRITERS

7) The Library.

Tom visited the local library, walks up to the librarian and asks, "Do you know where I can find the book, the Supremacy of Men over Women?" The librarian conducts a short search on the computer and looks up," you will be able to find it in the science fiction."

Conclusion: While some of these might sound offensive, if you use them well you will be able to display not just a sense of humour, but also that you are exactly the opposite of the stereotype. How? Immediately, after you done, lean over and whisper, But I am not like that, and if you allow me to take you out, you will see that for yourself.

Humour, some say, is the fruit of life, and this is especially true when it comes to picking up on a girl no matter where the location. Make them laugh, and I guarantee, that you are very close to getting their phone number and even to getting them to go out with you.

But, as we all know, making them laugh, is easier said than done. Precisely for those who find it difficult to come up with something funny to say, I am adding some funny anecdotes and wise cracks that you can memorize and then use in those situations where you need to get the girl in front of you to laugh.

• 1) The Prescription: Did you hear of the lady, who walked into the pharmacist and asked for arsenic?
• The man behind the counter asked in wonder, "What do you need that for?
• The lady calmly replied," to kill my husband." The pharmacist was taken aback," Are you crazy? Do you want to get us both into jail? And, anyway, why do you want to kill him? Go to a counselor. Get help for your marriage."

The lady paused and from her purse she removed a set of pictures of her husband and the wife of the pharmacist in some very creative postures.

The pharmacist looked at the snaps, put them down and smiled," lady, why did you not tell me that you have a prescription?"

• 2) The Tip Book. A wife calls out to her husband, "Have you seen the book, 101 Tips to Live for More Than a Hundred Years?

The husband sheepishly replies, "I burnt it."